I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
