Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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