Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
All I want is dick and wine.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
