Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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