I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize