the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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