pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
