Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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