Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
