brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
