You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
