you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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