saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
