it wasn't lemon gatorade
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
