It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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