Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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