I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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