ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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