There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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