It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
