sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
