just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
