laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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