yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
