i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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