I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
