He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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