The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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