4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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