whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
