so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
