what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
