What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
