your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
