You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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