I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
