But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
