Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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