The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
