I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
