My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
