i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
it wasn't lemon gatorade
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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