I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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