He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
