i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
