he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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