who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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