My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
