Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize