The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
