I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
