just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
