Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize