guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
