the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
