I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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