you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
