come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
